[... It is brief, but there is a flash of nerves in his sightless gaze, expression pinching as if injured by that promise he made.
But he does not hesitate for long, and while staring patiently out into the distance:]
I had... considered over the days and weeks what I might do with myself once the end approached. It is not that I fear death -- I'm a Servant, and we disappear after the course of a week, once the war we're summoned to is over.
[...]
I was prepared to go back to that. I had no cause to claim my own.
[Glancing down at his hands, imagining them in his mind's eyes]
I... suppose it might be strange to hear that your stories moved me. I have forgotten many things about myself, but never what you've told me -- and there are moments where it is as if what you have endured will keep me focused.
[...]
Our opinions on the matter differ in slight but significant ways, I will not deny it -- as I am sure you know -- but it's as I've told you before: I would not stay your hand, either. Merely I would...
[A pause, as he rubs quietly at his neck]
I would have... asked to remain at your side, if you would have allowed it. If I could bring you some small measure of comfort in sharing your burden and pain, so that you would not have to endure them alone.
--and you would choose to tell me this here, on the eve of my own death? You would say you wish to remain at my side when you did your utmost to remove yourself from it, and when I shall be removed come the morrow?
[his fingers curl into loose fists, tense, his voice strained.]
You do not know the inner workings of our machinations, Archer. You are not aware of what you say you would stand by and observe, to take a place alongside me-- you say that you would stay your hand from trying to stop me, but how long would you truly be able to watch? Knowing what you do of the burdens I bear, of what I would do to see my work through, how many years would you last before your own soul could bear that weight no longer?
[yes, well, he did promise to speak, Chiron is tempted to say, but restrains himself when he hears Emet... fray slightly, and feels his own chest grow cold with the first curlings of regret.
Should he have thought this through more, he wonders -- and then stops wondering, and exhales softly, instead remembering everything that brought him here to this decision.]
To protect you, yes -- I would have removed myself, as we both planned. [Voice steady and even. He does not rise to Emet's frustration]
Very well. Tell me what I would have to expect and carry. Tell me all of it, and then I will give you a clear answer on if I could bear it or not.
...we discovered a connection 'twixt Source and shards, many eons ago. A flow of aether from each shard to the world known as the Source, the primary fragment. A balance.
[he begins there, his words and voice both measured, steady.]
That flow may be disrupted by ensuring the fragment's aether is aspected heavily toward a particular element-- we shall say earth, for the sake of this example. When earthen aether begins to predominate in that fragment, its influence works upon the Source as well, giving that elemental aether dominance within it as well. And when the balance is tipped completely, when that shard has fallen fully under the influence of earth... the barrier between the Source and its shard may be broken.
This is done by orchestrating a catastrophe upon the Source which matches that aspect, such as causing a great earthquake. The barrier will crack, the flood of earthen aether will flow into the Source, and that catastrophe will grow in power with the influx... but the shard, and every fragment harbored within it, will become a part of the whole once more.
They call these Umbral Calamities, upon the Source. We call them a rejoining.
[he lets that sit, for a moment.]
Seven times have we rejoined these shards back unto the Source; seven times has the world recovered from such a calamity. Soon, it will be eight.
[seven worlds destroyed by their hands, in the name of piecing their former world back together.]
[... Is it sad, that Chiron does not have the energy to be surprised by this?
Emet told him in his own way before, when explaining how so much of the world split in the first place. Of course it would take such a calamity to rejoin them.
His expression, calm and even at the start of the conversation, does not budge. He only sighs and sits there in his thoughts, considering what answer to give -- knowing that the kindest answer would be to denounce all of this and take his leave of him, but already suspecting that is not where the future will take him.]
... Might I ask a question of you?
Do you know precisely what memories you have forgotten at this point?
[...it isn't the question he was expecting, and emet-selch raises a brow-- before he exhales a sigh.]
The first, I still do not know. The second and third were members of the Convocation, and I am certain one was a friend, though I remember little else of them.
Most recently, I lost this vessel's identity and the name I bore while living as.... whoever it is I was playing at the time.
If you were to receive the wish for the winning team, unlikely though it is at this moment when we are so low on Tiger's numbers, would you use it for your own gain?
Our work, and our world, belongs to us and us alone. 'Tis a time-honored modus operandi that we follow, and I would not entrust something of such import to a wish that may well have no guarantees.
[he raises a brow at that shift, though, watching him closely.]
No. I expect to hear your evaluation of whether you could bear it, do not place words upon my own tongue. Interference is something we could not allow from you.
[he reaches up to pinch at the bridge of his nose, exhaling a frustrated sound.]
You have the most terrible sense of timing, I do hope you are aware-- are you certain that was not lost along with your sight?
[he's about to die, and here chiron is saying he's deeply fond of him. enough so to stay by his side, enough so to wish to be there until his very death. to leave his own world for it.
I will say in my slight defense, I only recently came to the realization that this is the path that would satisfy me most.
[Though:]
I am not searching for any answer other than if you would allow me to remain with you at all, and if it does not satisfy you, then the matter is closed.
[there is a stretch of silence in response; some of the tension leaves his posture, eventually, shoulders slumped.]
...I do not know how much of myself there is left to give, Archer.
[a shake of his head, his voice quiet, faintly strained.]
Everything that I am belongs to my world, to my people. To this burden I took willingly upon myself-- my very soul is claimed by our god, tempered in His aether.
I cannot truly tell you if a place at my side exists.
[there may be no room for it, in the life he has led for thousands upon thousands on years. it's been so long since he ever would have considered it that he hasn't evaluated, hasn't spared it any thought-- who, after all, would have taken that place?]
[Spoken gently, with fondness, because Chiron already knew as much, and it did little to stay his decision.]
Perhaps it is a selfish wish that I place upon you, that I be allowed to follow you on your path, wherever it takes you... but that is all I had ever planned to ask.
[He isn't looking for anything -- not Emet's attention, or grace, or devotion -- just to be there in the moments where Emet might allow some of his burdens to slip onto another, if only for a few seconds.
[And with that, Chiron slips seamlessly back into business, into his duty as the holder of memories for another. He nods at Emet's answer without argument.]
...I am sure you remember what I was most curious about, when you spoke of your gods.
[there's- a faint hint of a smile there, very nearly amused, but it quickly smooths into something serious once more. sharing something like this deserves it.]
I hold the seat of Emet-Selch, but as for my true name-
[he ensures he is holding chiron's gaze, when he speaks.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[he looks tired too-- still embittered, still with his expression set in harder edges, and he's settled on the ground at the moment.]
Do you mean to stay?
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[It's Emet's choice, like it often is]
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[even now, he won't be the one to ask someone else to stay.]
You promised me an answer, once all was said and done. Will you still give it?
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But he does not hesitate for long, and while staring patiently out into the distance:]
I had... considered over the days and weeks what I might do with myself once the end approached. It is not that I fear death -- I'm a Servant, and we disappear after the course of a week, once the war we're summoned to is over.
[...]
I was prepared to go back to that. I had no cause to claim my own.
[Glancing down at his hands, imagining them in his mind's eyes]
I... suppose it might be strange to hear that your stories moved me. I have forgotten many things about myself, but never what you've told me -- and there are moments where it is as if what you have endured will keep me focused.
[...]
Our opinions on the matter differ in slight but significant ways, I will not deny it -- as I am sure you know -- but it's as I've told you before: I would not stay your hand, either. Merely I would...
[A pause, as he rubs quietly at his neck]
I would have... asked to remain at your side, if you would have allowed it. If I could bring you some small measure of comfort in sharing your burden and pain, so that you would not have to endure them alone.
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[his fingers curl into loose fists, tense, his voice strained.]
You do not know the inner workings of our machinations, Archer. You are not aware of what you say you would stand by and observe, to take a place alongside me-- you say that you would stay your hand from trying to stop me, but how long would you truly be able to watch? Knowing what you do of the burdens I bear, of what I would do to see my work through, how many years would you last before your own soul could bear that weight no longer?
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Should he have thought this through more, he wonders -- and then stops wondering, and exhales softly, instead remembering everything that brought him here to this decision.]
To protect you, yes -- I would have removed myself, as we both planned. [Voice steady and even. He does not rise to Emet's frustration]
Very well. Tell me what I would have to expect and carry. Tell me all of it, and then I will give you a clear answer on if I could bear it or not.
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[he begins there, his words and voice both measured, steady.]
That flow may be disrupted by ensuring the fragment's aether is aspected heavily toward a particular element-- we shall say earth, for the sake of this example. When earthen aether begins to predominate in that fragment, its influence works upon the Source as well, giving that elemental aether dominance within it as well. And when the balance is tipped completely, when that shard has fallen fully under the influence of earth... the barrier between the Source and its shard may be broken.
This is done by orchestrating a catastrophe upon the Source which matches that aspect, such as causing a great earthquake. The barrier will crack, the flood of earthen aether will flow into the Source, and that catastrophe will grow in power with the influx... but the shard, and every fragment harbored within it, will become a part of the whole once more.
They call these Umbral Calamities, upon the Source. We call them a rejoining.
[he lets that sit, for a moment.]
Seven times have we rejoined these shards back unto the Source; seven times has the world recovered from such a calamity. Soon, it will be eight.
[seven worlds destroyed by their hands, in the name of piecing their former world back together.]
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Emet told him in his own way before, when explaining how so much of the world split in the first place. Of course it would take such a calamity to rejoin them.
His expression, calm and even at the start of the conversation, does not budge. He only sighs and sits there in his thoughts, considering what answer to give -- knowing that the kindest answer would be to denounce all of this and take his leave of him, but already suspecting that is not where the future will take him.]
... Might I ask a question of you?
Do you know precisely what memories you have forgotten at this point?
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The first, I still do not know. The second and third were members of the Convocation, and I am certain one was a friend, though I remember little else of them.
Most recently, I lost this vessel's identity and the name I bore while living as.... whoever it is I was playing at the time.
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If you were to receive the wish for the winning team, unlikely though it is at this moment when we are so low on Tiger's numbers, would you use it for your own gain?
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[his answer is near immediate.]
Our work, and our world, belongs to us and us alone. 'Tis a time-honored modus operandi that we follow, and I would not entrust something of such import to a wish that may well have no guarantees.
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So that has remained with you, then.
[Their first conversation with each other, a promise to not covet the wishes of this "game".
... But the smile loosens back into neutrality, into thoughtfulness.]
Do you expect to hear my disdain for you?
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[he raises a brow at that shift, though, watching him closely.]
No. I expect to hear your evaluation of whether you could bear it, do not place words upon my own tongue. Interference is something we could not allow from you.
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And I could.
[That is not what... has taken over his thoughts at the moment. He says it almost like an afterthought, eyes settled on something far away.]
... But I do not think you would succeed.
[And that, more than anything, is the simple fact that divides them.
He would do them a disservice to pretend otherwise]
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[simply wait around for emet-selch to be defeated, to die? for he will not give this up before his own soul is destroyed.]
There is nothing else left to us but our duty. Our burden. It will end only when we are no more.
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[With frank honesty, no fear in his voice. Even that he is too old for.]
And even so, I would still stay with you, until the void -- because I want to.
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Ah, there seems to be a misunderstanding...?
Yes, your history moved me, but it is only out of deep fondness for you that I offered at all.
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[he reaches up to pinch at the bridge of his nose, exhaling a frustrated sound.]
You have the most terrible sense of timing, I do hope you are aware-- are you certain that was not lost along with your sight?
[he's about to die, and here chiron is saying he's deeply fond of him. enough so to stay by his side, enough so to wish to be there until his very death. to leave his own world for it.
he knew that chiron was willing to die for him-
but this is another development entirely.]
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trying not to chuckle, this is no laughing matter
and yet has to quickly turn his head]
I will say in my slight defense, I only recently came to the realization that this is the path that would satisfy me most.
[Though:]
I am not searching for any answer other than if you would allow me to remain with you at all, and if it does not satisfy you, then the matter is closed.
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...I do not know how much of myself there is left to give, Archer.
[a shake of his head, his voice quiet, faintly strained.]
Everything that I am belongs to my world, to my people. To this burden I took willingly upon myself-- my very soul is claimed by our god, tempered in His aether.
I cannot truly tell you if a place at my side exists.
[there may be no room for it, in the life he has led for thousands upon thousands on years. it's been so long since he ever would have considered it that he hasn't evaluated, hasn't spared it any thought-- who, after all, would have taken that place?]
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[Spoken gently, with fondness, because Chiron already knew as much, and it did little to stay his decision.]
Perhaps it is a selfish wish that I place upon you, that I be allowed to follow you on your path, wherever it takes you... but that is all I had ever planned to ask.
[He isn't looking for anything -- not Emet's attention, or grace, or devotion -- just to be there in the moments where Emet might allow some of his burdens to slip onto another, if only for a few seconds.
He simply doesn't want him to be so alone]
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[almost musing aloud, more than anything. it still asks much, but at its core...
it's very straightforward, for how complicated it feels.]
...I cannot answer you now. There will not be hours enough to decide, I think, before my time comes.
But I may at least give you my name, in the meantime. I would have someone hold to it ere I pass.
[and chiron is, perhaps, the only one he would entrust it to.]
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Very well.
What is it then?
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[there's- a faint hint of a smile there, very nearly amused, but it quickly smooths into something serious once more. sharing something like this deserves it.]
I hold the seat of Emet-Selch, but as for my true name-
[he ensures he is holding chiron's gaze, when he speaks.]
I am Hades.
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