Would that I could tell you. Mayhap then more of us would have been spared.
[the breath he exhales is heavy with the weight of the words.]
Two of us survived intact. Myself, and the Emissary. Every other life on the star was fragmented with the world itself, leaving one core world-- the Source-- and ten and three reflections of it.
But the worst part was that none of them could remember it. Not truly. Only fragments of memory, fleeting recollections of a familiar world, an ache within the soul at it that none could place.
[... Is that not a worse loneliness, Chiron wonders -- to have others beside you who will never truly understand?
When he was poisoned -- when he was suffering but couldn't die -- maybe the legends never gave a specific timeline, but Chiron remembers it could not have been longer than a couple of years at best. A physical pain, but still a burden, and he had run straight into death's embrace rather than shoulder it when the opportunity presented itself.
Chiron lasted a few years, and Emet-Selch, not even a deity, has managed 13,000 so far.
He drops his eyes to the ground and says nothing.]
[he doesn't need to say anything, really. emet-selch doesn't mind the silence; it is a heavy thing to ask someone else to remember, someone who is not one of his own people. i forget if he ever sat down but if not then he does now, sighing as he settles and lets himself lean back against a tree.]
...I have considered, at times, cutting that short. Remaining within the rift between worlds and simply drifting-- letting go of the sense of self which holds me to the living, waking world.
But I cannot abandon our brethren. Our legacy. Our god, still yet to be made whole.
[And more deserving of rest, though Chiron doesn't bother to state the obvious. His words feel rather cheap today.]
In this place, I do not know how long I will keep to my own memories -- I've already noticed that I am... fraying.
[He's still Chiron, but one that's being plucked apart little by little, and he stares down at the half-carved bow in his hands, wondering if it will be this week he'll forget how to shoot, how to teach, how to be himself.]
But I-- [A pause. His grip loosens and falls away, and he sighs out a breath.] I will hold onto yours as long as I can. [...] Even if that means living.
[He won't offer himself up as sacrifice until he is certain Emet-Selch will survive, and live, and keep his people alive through memory. Perhaps... that's why fate brought him here. This is what he was meant to do.]
[-that is far more than he expected, and he glances back up in surprise. to hold off from his own death not for the sake of them all, but for this...
he shakes his head.]
If it is for the sake of seeing this duty through, then I would not have you stay your hand for that alone. What good would living for my memory be, if we should fail?
[there will be no point if they lose everything, and emet-selch knows far more than most just how necessary sacrifice can be-- even if he is unable to give up his own.]
But if it will keep you from doing something truly foolish and throwing your life away before it is necessary... then you may swear it.
I'd hope by now I've proven I have as little tolerance for foolishness as you.
[Said with a huff, some of the solemness lightened in favor of a quip. After such a conversation, Chiron is in need of one.]
I could not forsake all Realms just for the promise of your memory, no, but as the two goals do not conflict with each other...
[He supposes he's falling back on what he knows best -- to help those in need when it does not sabotage his principles. Chiron can't let a fellow immortal (even one who had been chained to duty) carry it alone.
He sighs quietly, and stares up between the treetops]
At least for now, your memory is safe between two.
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no subject
[the breath he exhales is heavy with the weight of the words.]
Two of us survived intact. Myself, and the Emissary. Every other life on the star was fragmented with the world itself, leaving one core world-- the Source-- and ten and three reflections of it.
But the worst part was that none of them could remember it. Not truly. Only fragments of memory, fleeting recollections of a familiar world, an ache within the soul at it that none could place.
I am its last living memory.
no subject
he doesn't know what to say.
-- No, that's a lie. He does have one more question, delivered soft]
And as the last living memory, how long have you lasted?
no subject
[his answer is soft as well, but more because it's just-- tired.]
I have not always worked alone. But they do not truly remember; not as I do.
no subject
When he was poisoned -- when he was suffering but couldn't die -- maybe the legends never gave a specific timeline, but Chiron remembers it could not have been longer than a couple of years at best. A physical pain, but still a burden, and he had run straight into death's embrace rather than shoulder it when the opportunity presented itself.
Chiron lasted a few years, and Emet-Selch, not even a deity, has managed 13,000 so far.
He drops his eyes to the ground and says nothing.]
no subject
...I have considered, at times, cutting that short. Remaining within the rift between worlds and simply drifting-- letting go of the sense of self which holds me to the living, waking world.
But I cannot abandon our brethren. Our legacy. Our god, still yet to be made whole.
no subject
[And more deserving of rest, though Chiron doesn't bother to state the obvious. His words feel rather cheap today.]
In this place, I do not know how long I will keep to my own memories -- I've already noticed that I am... fraying.
[He's still Chiron, but one that's being plucked apart little by little, and he stares down at the half-carved bow in his hands, wondering if it will be this week he'll forget how to shoot, how to teach, how to be himself.]
But I-- [A pause. His grip loosens and falls away, and he sighs out a breath.] I will hold onto yours as long as I can. [...] Even if that means living.
[He won't offer himself up as sacrifice until he is certain Emet-Selch will survive, and live, and keep his people alive through memory. Perhaps... that's why fate brought him here. This is what he was meant to do.]
I swear it on my constellation of Sagittarius.
no subject
he shakes his head.]
If it is for the sake of seeing this duty through, then I would not have you stay your hand for that alone. What good would living for my memory be, if we should fail?
[there will be no point if they lose everything, and emet-selch knows far more than most just how necessary sacrifice can be-- even if he is unable to give up his own.]
But if it will keep you from doing something truly foolish and throwing your life away before it is necessary... then you may swear it.
no subject
[Said with a huff, some of the solemness lightened in favor of a quip. After such a conversation, Chiron is in need of one.]
I could not forsake all Realms just for the promise of your memory, no, but as the two goals do not conflict with each other...
[He supposes he's falling back on what he knows best -- to help those in need when it does not sabotage his principles. Chiron can't let a fellow immortal (even one who had been chained to duty) carry it alone.
He sighs quietly, and stares up between the treetops]
At least for now, your memory is safe between two.