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[arkitect]

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[arkitect]

You could have been, had you not refused the only path toward being whole, but the discomfort of not knowing was not enough to leave a comfortable, yet flawed, existence behind for you.

You wish to see a reflection within a mirror you insist upon leaving half-shattered, for you too are a shard of glass, and felt for the ones that would cease to be shards and become a mirror once more.

[voidgates]

[She wonders, amid warring thoughts of jagged glass and cast-aside things, what tone of voice he would've used for you could have been, were he saying it to her in person. Would it be derisive, both patient and patronizing at once? Accusatory, full of ire and betrayal at having an extended hand spurned?

Or maybe, some small and near-smothered part of her thinks — maybe it would have been melancholy. An even remark to hide a deeper well of ancient hopes dashed, from a man who can't help but invoke mentions of his friends even when trying to talk about who he once was instead.

It makes her wonder, for a moment, if she's really the one he's talking to, just then. You insist on leaving yourself half-shattered, as though he means the reproach for the one who was ever whole to begin with.]

you're right

[She types it, and looks at the words on the tomestone glowing back at her, and is surprised to find that she's still telling the truth even now.]

azem was more than i will ever be able to be
a shard of glass can never be a mirror, it's true
but glass doesn't lose its ability to reflect things altogether even smaller and jagged and broken

the convocation must've thought zodiark was the only path toward salvation
so the fact that azem opposed it must mean they thought there was another way

so if the ardor is the only path toward being whole again
then azem would have thought there was another way to that too
that doesn't mean i know what it is or could hope to work it out if i tried
but i know they would have believed it

there are shards of them that weren't part of me
all of us broken pieces of that mirror
all of us reflecting some small glimpse of the whole person we once were
one of them was brave and good and did everything right and still couldn't save the world he loved
if that doesn't make him a reflection of azem i don't know what would

so mayhap it is enough after all
i think azem would want it that way is what i mean
that if only some small fraction of them could remain after all the rest of them had broken apart
then at least the part that endured was the part that you mattered to

surely that must be azem's reflection in me
their unwillingness to forget you even when they can't remember you